Orgasms are a Turn-OFF for Women

25 June 2005
NewScientist.com news service
Michael Le Page

FOR women, it seems, sex is a big turn-off. A scanning study has revealed that many areas of the brain switch off during orgasm - including those involved in emotion.

"At the moment of orgasm, women do not have any emotional feelings," says Gert Holstege of the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. His team recruited 13 healthy heterosexual women and their partners. The women were asked to lie with their heads in a PET scanner while the team compared their brain activity in four states: resting, faking an orgasm, having their clitoris stimulated by their partner, and clitoral stimulation to the point of orgasm.

As the women were stimulated, activity rose in one sensory part of the brain but fell in the amygdala and hippocampus, areas involved in alertness and anxiety. During orgasm, activity decreased in many more areas of the brain, Holstege told a meeting of the European Society for Human Reproduction and Embryology in Copenhagen this week. Only one part of the brain, in the cerebellum, was more active in women during orgasm. The cerebellum is generally associated with coordinating movement.

The findings appear to confirm what we already know: that women cannot enjoy sex unless they are relaxed and free from worries and distractions. Looked at from an evolutionary point of view, it could be that the brain switches off the emotions during sex because at such times reproduction and survival of the species become more important than survival of the individual.

The team has already done a similar study with 11 men, which revealed far less deactivation during orgasm than in women. However, Holstege says the results are probably unreliable because PET scanners measure activity over 2 minutes - and in men it's all over in a few seconds.

From issue 2505 of New Scientist magazine, 25 June 2005, page 14

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May Love Find Your Heart -
Countess

Tears Of Crimson Blood

My Heart cries hot tears of crimson blood,

My Soul aches at being torn from it's twin,

My Mind screams with rage & confutsion,

My body has lost it's longing & desire it once felt,

I'm in the eye of a tornado & if I move one way or the other I will surly die,

There is nothing to do except wait out the storm & hope I survive.

Copyright ©2005 Countess Demetria

What is Love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

4. Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud,
5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth,
7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8a. Love never fails.

From the NIV Bible

May Love Find Your Heart -
Countess

The Heart vs. Logic in Love

I really like today's Love Quote of the Day

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
H. L. Mencken

I have a GREAT imagination and he has GREAT intelligence.
So does that mean I will triumph after all? lol

I know not all women have good imaginations like I do, nor are all men intelligent like my Best Friend. lol So I am going to use the word Heart (or love) in place of imagination and Logic in place of intelligence.

Or maybe it means that a person's own imagination triumphs over their own intelligence in order for them to feel love for someone else.

Hmmmm? If it is a man, that isn't very likely to happen.
Their logic will override whatever little bit their heart might feel. In other words, a man will suppress any emotions they have, before they get a chance to grow.

Damn, why can't men sometimes think with their hearts instead of their brain! (Some men don't even have a brain) They think only with their other head, the one with NO brain at all! Emotionless Vulcan's!! Except for anger that is. Men are good at expressing anger. The ONLY emotion they allow themselves to feel!

Ok I am not being fair here. I know that some men are not anger ridden, brainless selfish bastards. Some men are not too afraid of themselves and how the world sees them to actually be sensitive!

I know a few men who are actually thoughtful, caring and sensitive. Unfortunately most men are not.

Women think with their hearts first, and then will think with their mind. This does get a lot of women into trouble. They fall in love without even thinking about what they are doing. Sometimes they don't even realize that is what is happening.

Women open their hearts and give their whole heart, and fall in love before the man even is aware she has done so. The woman gives all of herself and more. She risks her heart, and falls in love with a man, even if he doesn't return those same feelings.

The man is taken back, because to him it is too soon. He doesn't feel she should love him that quickly. For a man usually, love takes time to grow. He thinks about it logically and will only open a little bit of his heart at a time. He uses logic to protect himself from being hurt. If he doesn't give his heart or only a little bit, then if something goes wrong he will not be as hurt. What the man doesn't realize is that in order for him to find love, he has to risk his heart also and open up to the woman. He can be loved by the woman, but for him to love her in return he has to risk his heart. He can be as logical as he wants, but when it comes to love, logic plays no part in it. Love is NOT logical. Love just Is.

"Love will not find you,
If you risk not your heart"
Erin O'Malley

Women also who have risked their heart too many times, will hold back and not risk their heart again so easily. Some women have had a hard live growing up, and never learned to trust. Therefore they will not risk their heart. They will have a hard time trusting anyone, especially a man if it was a man in her childhood that hurt her. Unfortunately some women as they become teens, and then adults, become real Bitches! They care about nobody, not even themselves. They are miserable and make others feel the same way they do. There are a lot of men like this too.

It is even harder for a man that has been hurt many times. They are programmed by society from childhood to not cry, to not show emotion, to be strong, and tough. Never expose how the truly feel about things. It is horrible that society does this to young boys and men! Parents of the young boys are no better than society. Fathers tell their sons to be tough, not to cry, and be a man. They are only kids, and are very sensitive still, and yet are taught to suppress those emotions and not talk to anyone about them.

By the time the boys become young men are interested in women, they don't know how to communicate well with women or other men. They surly don't show their true feelings to women. That would be Un-manly! Give me a break! Sheesh! I hate it when a man feels he has to be MANLY to be liked. To me that means, being cold, emotionless except for anger, and selfish. Unwilling to talk things out, they will make the decisions and not consider the woman's feelings about anything. They act all tough and controling. They don't show any tenderness or caring about the woman in their life, especially in public. They see tenderness, kindness, and being loving to women as being weak. They might be somewhat loving in the privacy of their own home, and even there behind closed doors.

Men mostly think logically. They don't see that a lot of times their logical ways of doing things, just hurts the woman. He doesn't try to see things from her point of view. He just decides what is to be and that is it. Again not all men are like this, but so many are that it's a wonder women put up with them at all!

That is when Love comes into it. A woman who loves a man even when he acts like a total jerk, and does not respect her at all, will put up with it. Not all women, but those who love unconditionally do. That unconditional love that some women have, gets them into trouble that they can't get out of.

Many women do not realize how much they are falling in love, and that it is unconditional love, until it is too late. Most men don't deserve that kind of unconditional love. Women like this get into abusive relationships and even marry them because they love the man so unconditionally. They love the man more than themselves, and will even tell themselves that they deserve the beatings that they get. A woman who loves unconditionally is very easy to be taken advantage of, because she will not give up on him, no matter how much he hurts her. This kind of man will only be logical, or maybe a bit crazy too. He will never open his heart up to her, no matter how unconditionally the woman loves him. Logic plays no part in love, and he can not let go of logic long enough to allow his heart to be vulnerable enough to feel love.

Unconditional love is a blessing, and it can be a curse also. Mothers who love their kids so unconditionally that they are blinded by any wrong their kids to, ends up hurting them in the long run. They give the signal that it is ok to be bad, when the Mother never punishes them for things they do wrong, because they don't think the can do anything wrong.

If their kids get into trouble, they try and make excuses for their kids instead of teaching their kids not to do it again! Even Unconditional love needs some conditions. Otherwise the abused wife will never get out of that situation, and the Mother who loves her kids so unconditionally that she will never set ground rules, or consequences for their actions.

The heart needs to have some balance with the mind. I know I said there is no logic in love, and there isn't. There can be love, and logic balanced in the same person. If it is balanced then the logic will not override the heart, and the person will still be able to love. Then when logic is needed, it can put the heart in check so the heart doesn't go too far to fast. Unfortunately with men, if they try this it ends up putting a choke hold on the heart. Then the heart is suppressed and can not feel. This is when logic goes too far and is not balanced with the heart. You need both love and logic separately and independent of each other in the same person.

You can have one and not the other, but it just ends up to be hard to live with a person who is purely logical with no love. Imagine trying to live with a pure Vulcan for the rest of your life! Some of these people become obsessive compulsive. They have to have logic applied to every single thing they do. Order becomes an obsession. They can not communicate well with others, they are selfish, and care not for what other people feel by what they say. If they hurt others it doesn't bother them. Logic without opening your heart to love, only causes grief to yourself and others. A purely logical person will not think that fun is logical. They are not very pleasant people to be around. They have lost their childlike heart, they no longer have the little boy or little girl inside them that gives them a spark of life. This is also the kind of person who can turn into a criminal much easier. They do not care what people they hurt to get what they want. They have no heart, so therefor nothing to tell them that what they are doing is wrong. The heart is part of what your conscience comes from. A person who does not ever open their heart to love, and is just logical, does not feel bad when the do something wrong. Those are just some examples of what it would be like to not live with an open heart, and only be logical. We are not Vulcan's, we are human, therefore we are not capable of being purely logical without a heart or emotion, and have no consequences. You lose a part of your humanity without allowing part of your heart to open to love.

A person who is purely ruled by their heart and has no logic at all, ends up making a lot of mistakes because they don't ever think things through. These people are impulsive, and driven only by their wants and desires. They are probably not good at managing money, because they want to spend it to by whatever their heart desires. They don't plan, so they are probably usually late to everything. A person that is thinks with only their heart will fall in love easily, but maybe with the wrong person. They do not think about if that person is right for them or not. They do not look past the surface of the person they are attracted to. They only go on their feelings, not any logic that might have told them that this man is abusive, or this woman just wants your money. These people get hurt easily because they do not think about what they are doing before getting involved with someone. If they had logic as well as love, they would have taken a step back and looked good at the person they were attracted to first. Instead by the time they realize that they have made a mistake in who they are with, they are so deeply in love that they don't want to let go even if it hurts them even more.
When logic is not part of a person who lives by their heart, it will cause them a lot of problems in life. As you can see by the examples I have given here.

People need both an open heart to find love, and love balanced to lead a good productive and happy life. This does not guarantee that it will be a happily ever after kind of life, but it will give the person more of a chance of finding happiness in life. Those without heart and those without logic will ultimately, be very unhappy in the end.

May Love Find Your Heart -
Countess

What Is Your Fantasy?

Do you have a Fantasy that you would like to come true some day?

Do you fantasize about something that is totally out of this world and could never happen, but it turns you on, or is just pleasant to fantasize about?

Or do you daydream about something or someone often?

Tell us your fantasy! If you have several fantasies then post them in seperate comments.
Or e-mail them all to me and separeate them with a line so I know it isn't just one fantasy.

This is just one of mine.

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My Fantasy

I would like to ride a horse and a man at the same time someday! lol
NO NO NO I am NOT into bestiality!! Not THIS Countess!
I mean me riding the man while sitting on the back of a horse that is walking of course!
Maybe at night under a full moon, with just a blanket on the horse, and us butt naked! Of course this would have to be with a man I loved, if it was to actually happen someday.
Ok, that is just a fantasy! I doubt it will ever happen, But it would be so FUN if it did!! lol

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Ok, Everyone it is your turn now! Don't leave me hangin' as the only one to post my fantasy!!

If you would like to tell your fantasy and be graphic about it (you don't have to be graphic if you don't want to) then e-mail me at countessofhorror@hotmail.com with your fantasy.
Put in the subject "What Is Your Fantasy?" That way I know what your e-mail is about, and will not delete it without reading it if I don't already have your e-mail address in my address book.

I will add your fantasy to the comments section in this post! If you want to use a pseudo name so others don't know who you are, just tell me what name you want me to add at the bottom of the fantasy in your e-mail.

If you have a Blogger account and don't mind if others know who you are, then you can post your fantasy in my blog comments yourself!

May Love Find Your Heart -
Countess

Are You A Hopeless Romantic?

Do you do special things for the special man/woman?
Do you make him/her feel special?
Do you love to do little things to make him/her smile?
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with your one true love?

Then take this quiz and see if you are a Hopeless Romantic!

My Resultes are below.



Click on the image above to take the quiz.

Quiz By Lady Paje


May Love Find Your Heart -
Countess

Online Heartache

E-mails
E-cards
Messenger
The Eloquent Words Make My Heart Flutter

Sweetness
Kindness
Thoughtfulness
My Eyes Sparkle As I Smile

Longing
Lusting
Desire
My Body Needs To Be Touched

Hugs
Kisses
Caresses
I Long To Be Loved

Tears
Sadness
Despair
My Hope For These Things Is Fading

Copyright ©2005 Countess Demetria

May Love Find Your Heart -
Countess

God Why Must I Be Teased?

Why must my body react so strongly to the mere thought of him?

My body craves his kiss, & touch so much that I can almost feel him just by thinking of him.

I long for him and yet he is not here. My body teases me with sensations I never felt before I met him.

I give in to the pleasure my body wants, and scream from the wonderful sensations my body has.

I am left wanting more. I just want him more than ever and yet don't want to quit feeling feeling the pleasure.

My body teases me to the point of no return, wanting him more than ever, and knowing it may never be.

Why can't I just be content with the communication we have now?

I feel as if my body betrays me, making me crave what I may never have.Never have I felt for someone the way I do for him.

He brings out the fire within me that wants to devour me from the inside out if it doesn't get the fuel it needs.

My wants and needs are overpowering me day and night.I wake up from a dream feeling the pleasure of him, only to find he is not there.

I don't want to stop feeling the pleasure I get from wanting him so much.It is just hard to believe my body will ever feel what it craves so much.

God there are too many obstacles in our way that block our every attempt at finding a way to be together.

My feelings for him are too strong for me to try and subdue. They overpower my every waking and dreaming thought.

Sometimes I just want to give up, for it is too hard to go on alone.

Alone is the way I feel I will always be.

Is he as good as I perceive him to be?

Sometimes he seems too good to be true.

I sure don't deserve a man like him.

God am I just kidding myself in believing that he cares for me even a little?

I don't understand why anyone, let alone someone as wonderful as him, would care for me.

Why? Why me? I am nothing special. Why am I so confused?

I want to believe that someday will finally come, but how far into the future is someday?

Someday seems so very far away. Someday we will meet. Someday we will see if we are meant for each other. Someday we will finally know what the truth is. Will someday ever be today?

I feel as if someday is just another word for never.

Why must I be torn to pieces with confusion, doubts, and uncertainties for days at a time?

Then a few days later I am hopeful, happy and joyful.

My mind and body are playing tug of war with my heart!

My body teases me, and my mind confuses me.

My body desires him and my heart wants him to love me.

My mind doesn't believe I will get either.

My soul reaches out for his, wanting to intertwine my soul with his.

Will that day ever come? Will my dreams only be just that, a dream?

I want to hope, but every time I start to, something brings me back to reality.

Hope hurts. It makes me think that what will probably not ever be, might be possible.

Then I see all the obstacles in our way, with no way to remove them!

Hope is then dashed on the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

I even begin to doubt if I am the only one in his life. I don't truly believe there is,but my mind keeps trying to make me think about that possibility.

Hope teases me, my body teases me, my mind confuses me until I don't know what to believe anymore.

My body and heart want to believe the dream, while my mind keeps seeing things about us that might not even be there.

My mind reads more into things than my heart wants it to.

It is very hard having our feelings and desires so unequal.

I know he can't feel, give or show anymore until we meet in person, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I don't see how he can go from feeling the little he does now, to loving me in person. If he doesn't feel it now, how will being in person change a thing? There might be chemistry, but I don't want that without love as a part of it.

I would just end up being hurt if love was not part of the physical intimacy.

It is just wishful thinking that it will even get that far. I see no way of anything changing that would break down the barriers before us.

If his feelings for me haven't grown in all this time, then meeting will not change a thing. Why should I even go on?

He gets to feel that he is wanted, cared for, and loved. Sometimes that doesn't feel fair.

I know he cares about me, but so do my friends! How is the way he cares much different from the way they care about me?

We talk about the same kinds of things. Some of my friends even tell me that they love me often. That he definitely doesn't do.

They say only time will tell. Well **** time! Time drags on and on and nothing changes!!

Why must what I feel, seem like it isn't worth anything! I wish I could just quit feeling the way I feel! It would make things so much simpler.

Then I wouldn't care if even part of my feelings are returned.

If I drank alcohol, I would drink until I didn't feel anymore.

Alas, I don't drink, do drugs, or smoke cigarettes. I don't do anything that would numb me.

God why must everyone be against us? Why can't we just have a chance to meet?

God is that so much to ask? You say you will give us our hearts desires. Why make things so difficult? We have so much in common, and are so compatible, please give us a chance to meet!

This emotional roller coaster that I keep going on over and over and over, is wearing me out!

God please give me Hope that things will work out the way we want them to, Peace in my soul instead of constantly warring with myself.

Help me see if there is a weakness in any of the barriers in our path! Please help me break them down, one by one until there is nothing standing in our way!

Protect my heart from being hurt again, yet still be able to love.

Give me the strength I need to get through this, without losing hope.

Thank You God.

May Love Find Your Heart -
Countess